Marriage is such a delicate and complicate thing, even from the start, the planning can be so exhausting and overwhelming ... in the process, one may just say "xxxx it, I don't want to get married anymore (or is it just me?)."
Never thought wedding planning can be so troublesome. Setting the date, deciding on the location for wedding and reception, place to get wedding photo... and even more hair-pulling is when one of you (or both) don't have enough vacations left for the year ..
My head hurts. It reminds me of the bachelorette party I was planning for my sister years ago. I had nightmares back then... imagine what I'll be going through every night until all of this is over. I think last night I dreamed of picking out my dresses for the wedding pictures.... and it was just so... crazy!
I thought wedding planning would be so fun. Putting all the things you love together, celebrating such big occasion with families and friends.. yeah yeah yeah.. but not for someone indecisive like me... ugh. I don't even know what's my wedding color. :( Besides, as much as I'd like to keep it all simple.. another voice in me kept saying "yeah... but you'll only do it once, this is only once in a lifetime!!"
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
10-10-10
So the day has finally come!!!....ugh, not yet, but we're getting ready for it. Yup, just like other superstitious Asian who believes 10-10-10 means perfection, and will have special blessing to one's marriage, we too, have decided to go to the court house on 10-10-10 to make it official. Actually, we are just doing it because he proposed on 9-9-9… (He better not forgets our anniversary date... \___/)
Since 10-10-10 falls on a Sunday, we’ve been contemplating our possible options… one that was highly supported by fiancé’ parents was to get married in their backyard, and have his best friend, who is “legally” able to marry people, marrying us. As tempting and fun as that sound, I felt that it would be overly done than just a simple ceremony yet I won’t have any family or friends besides my immediate family there (since we live 4 hours away).
But anyways, the other option was to go to Las Vegas… where tons of chapels are available even on Sunday (even Drive-Thru) to let you say “I do!” After looking into it, I thought the chapel feels a bit cheesy… and found out the court house in Vegas is actually open on Sunday!? Nice…. so it could be just the two of us… going to the place that advertises “what happens here stays here”. I hope he won’t deny our marriage years down the road that it ever happened… v_v As we were ready to book our hotel… I thought of his ninety-some years old grandparents, and felt a bit guilty, because they thought they would see us getting married in October… so I asked fiancé if we should invite his parents and grandparents to Vegas, it’s a long drive, but they are welcome to come if they like. Needless to say, his mom wanted to join us, and to my surprise, his sister and her boyfriend too… they’re not sure about the dad because he may have work to do at the vineyard finishing up their raisin season… what really disappointed me, was that they decide to not tell the grandparents about it, because they don’t want to “babysit” them in Vegas… I mean, I understand, they’re really old, and they’re slow… and they need people to watch over them when they’re outside… but… /sigh.. I guess I will see them this Christmas… or at our wedding reception in the spring. Since his family is coming, I asked mom and sister if they would like to join us as well, and it seems that only mom will be joining us…
In life, we get to choose our own priorities, but we cannot choose others’ priorities for them… and rather than being resentful, I’d rather learn to respect their decision…
Since 10-10-10 falls on a Sunday, we’ve been contemplating our possible options… one that was highly supported by fiancé’ parents was to get married in their backyard, and have his best friend, who is “legally” able to marry people, marrying us. As tempting and fun as that sound, I felt that it would be overly done than just a simple ceremony yet I won’t have any family or friends besides my immediate family there (since we live 4 hours away).
But anyways, the other option was to go to Las Vegas… where tons of chapels are available even on Sunday (even Drive-Thru) to let you say “I do!” After looking into it, I thought the chapel feels a bit cheesy… and found out the court house in Vegas is actually open on Sunday!? Nice…. so it could be just the two of us… going to the place that advertises “what happens here stays here”. I hope he won’t deny our marriage years down the road that it ever happened… v_v As we were ready to book our hotel… I thought of his ninety-some years old grandparents, and felt a bit guilty, because they thought they would see us getting married in October… so I asked fiancé if we should invite his parents and grandparents to Vegas, it’s a long drive, but they are welcome to come if they like. Needless to say, his mom wanted to join us, and to my surprise, his sister and her boyfriend too… they’re not sure about the dad because he may have work to do at the vineyard finishing up their raisin season… what really disappointed me, was that they decide to not tell the grandparents about it, because they don’t want to “babysit” them in Vegas… I mean, I understand, they’re really old, and they’re slow… and they need people to watch over them when they’re outside… but… /sigh.. I guess I will see them this Christmas… or at our wedding reception in the spring. Since his family is coming, I asked mom and sister if they would like to join us as well, and it seems that only mom will be joining us…
In life, we get to choose our own priorities, but we cannot choose others’ priorities for them… and rather than being resentful, I’d rather learn to respect their decision…
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Random Thoughts
We all have the choice to do what we want to do, how we want to live, but we have to take responsibility for the outcomes. What if we drill our beliefs into our loved ones, because we want them to live the better life that we think there is? What if there is a clash in our beliefs and the ones you love so dearly are upsetting you? Do you just let them go off on their own, letting them take their own consequences, or do you do what they expect of you, so they could live ways they desire, with your support?
Live in the moment. What a great ideology. But is that ideology still ideal when you have small children who depend on you? When you’re in your mid-sixties with no savings … and not enough money in your retirement fund to cover your expenses? In the event of unemployment, or emergency, you would not have any reserve in the bank to bring yourself out of the trouble because you live in the moment. You do what you believe are right, you enjoy the moment. The moment is now, so why worry about the future. Why save money in an emergency fund, and why not spend on the things you desire… they make you happy, now! Who cares if you just got a new phone ten months ago, you want the upgrade now! And it doesn’t matter if it cost another $200 that you don’t have… live in the moment.
What about living our lives responsibly? There will still be fun, but with the security in mind that you know you will retire when you want to. Enjoy your life, but not at the cost of your future or your children’s future. The children won’t remember or appreciate the thousands of dollars you spent on buying them toys…but they’ll remember the days in their youth when you cried to them and tell them that there is no money, when their relatives looked down on them, and when they could not afford a haircut or new clothes because you spent it all to live your moment. I know I do. It doesn’t mean I won’t buy them any toy, but I’d rather save more for them so they can live a normal life and afford to go to college if they choose to. It doesn’t mean I will live on ramen noodles and potatoes until I retire, I will enjoy life, but not lavishly or on the things I don’t need. I will buy the things I want when I can afford them.
Maybe I am asking too much in this tough time of yours, but I do not know how long this tough time will last, and how long I will have to deal with it… As you spend all yours and our money away to take away the stress… my frustration grows. You were my priority, and perhaps you would say otherwise because I won’t let you have everything you ask for, and I’m not there to support you when you expect me to, but it felt as if I have bent my life over just to accommodate your way of life… and perhaps this is coming to an end. Perhaps it’s finally time for you to take your own responsibilities… and I move on with mine…
Live in the moment. What a great ideology. But is that ideology still ideal when you have small children who depend on you? When you’re in your mid-sixties with no savings … and not enough money in your retirement fund to cover your expenses? In the event of unemployment, or emergency, you would not have any reserve in the bank to bring yourself out of the trouble because you live in the moment. You do what you believe are right, you enjoy the moment. The moment is now, so why worry about the future. Why save money in an emergency fund, and why not spend on the things you desire… they make you happy, now! Who cares if you just got a new phone ten months ago, you want the upgrade now! And it doesn’t matter if it cost another $200 that you don’t have… live in the moment.
What about living our lives responsibly? There will still be fun, but with the security in mind that you know you will retire when you want to. Enjoy your life, but not at the cost of your future or your children’s future. The children won’t remember or appreciate the thousands of dollars you spent on buying them toys…but they’ll remember the days in their youth when you cried to them and tell them that there is no money, when their relatives looked down on them, and when they could not afford a haircut or new clothes because you spent it all to live your moment. I know I do. It doesn’t mean I won’t buy them any toy, but I’d rather save more for them so they can live a normal life and afford to go to college if they choose to. It doesn’t mean I will live on ramen noodles and potatoes until I retire, I will enjoy life, but not lavishly or on the things I don’t need. I will buy the things I want when I can afford them.
Maybe I am asking too much in this tough time of yours, but I do not know how long this tough time will last, and how long I will have to deal with it… As you spend all yours and our money away to take away the stress… my frustration grows. You were my priority, and perhaps you would say otherwise because I won’t let you have everything you ask for, and I’m not there to support you when you expect me to, but it felt as if I have bent my life over just to accommodate your way of life… and perhaps this is coming to an end. Perhaps it’s finally time for you to take your own responsibilities… and I move on with mine…
Back to work~!
Two weeks flew by and I'm already back at work sitting at my tiny little cubicle ..
We drove 3700 miles across 8 different states: California, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, Washington, and Oregon... America is truly a beautiful place!
We drove 3700 miles across 8 different states: California, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, Washington, and Oregon... America is truly a beautiful place!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Yay~!
Here we go again...
Let's see if I can be persistent with my blog!
Going on vacation tomorrow, here is our tentative plan~
Los Angeles --> Yellowstone --> everywhere in Montana --> Seattle --> Portland --> San Francisco --> Madera --> Los Angeles
Please let it be a safe and fun trip~ <3
Let's see if I can be persistent with my blog!
Going on vacation tomorrow, here is our tentative plan~
Los Angeles --> Yellowstone --> everywhere in Montana --> Seattle --> Portland --> San Francisco --> Madera --> Los Angeles
Please let it be a safe and fun trip~ <3
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